To a conference, shall you go?

Happy Tuesday!

Today's post is about conference time. There's a lot of buzz about going and whatnot, so thought I'd talk about that today. Another question that keeps coming up in conversations is.. If I'm not published yet, is it really necessary to attend one? Along with several other questions regarding conference season. Well, basically the answer is both yes and no. Sorry, thought you'd get a clear cut answer didn't you? ;) I'm not a fan of disappointing anyone with an answer, but because this really is a pro and con situation, and based on 'you' and where you are with writing, finances, etc., there is only the answer 'you' can give for yourself. But..

I can give reasons on both sides that may help in deciding whether it's time for you to go, or wait a while and maybe tackle conference season next year, or the year after. Let's start with the biggie, I feel anyway, on the con side.. expense. Unless you're fortunate to live close to the conference venue you'll have traveling costs, and you'll have to have a place to sleep, and don't forget food and drinks, and if you have small children you'll need to secure a sitter for the time you'll be away..and the list just grows bigger with what your specific needs may be. So, if you're not published yet, or recently published, and it will be your first time actually seriously considering attending one, please add some of the items mentioned here to your decision-making list.

Another factor you'll want to think about if it will be your first time going, are you going alone? I'm not a huge fan of going to big gatherings alone. For me, until I can absorb the surroundings, when I first walk into a place it can be a bit overwhelming. But that's just me and a little hang-up I have. I try my best to have someone either meet me or if possible, take my best friend or family member and double-up so to speak. (Meet at hotel, share the room, and have what we can control all planned out, etc.)  It does help me, and it may also help if you're a bit nervous about going solo and are able to take someone with you, especially if it's a first event.

There's so much that goes on over the short span of time at a conference. You'd like to check in on all that you can, but reality sometimes makes that a little hard to achieve. Having someone with you, help navigate your planned scheduled events, because you know where you are at that moment and where you need to be at such and such a time.

The flip-side.. going to a conference is an experience, to say the least! Yes, there will be after-parties, drinking, meeting up with friends you've meet on line, etc. There are also a lot of writing events. After all, it's a writer's conference ;) You'll be able to network, meet and make new friends. You'll be able to hopefully attend events and learn new things about writing/business that you didn't know about previously. You'll be able to hopefully, meet one of your favorite authors, and hopefully she/he will sign a copy of their most recent or your fav book of theirs. Or maybe meet an editor along the way to your next destination, that you're considering querying in the future.

So, these are a few things to think about when you're considering attending a writer's conference. There's more, but at least a few things to start your pro/con list. If however, you decide not to attend a conference this year, have you thought about a writer's retreat? These can be awesome as well! The group is usually a lot smaller, and you can even start one by inviting a group of your writer friends.. just pick a place, time, and day or two.. plan out what you'll be working on/discussing. It could be really small and simple, like an afternoon lunch and then go over some writing topics you'd like to learn more about, know a little bit about and want to share, goals, etc. A retreat at the very least, is a place where writers can be in one place, talk about work, business, etc., but on a much smaller scale than a conference. Think of it as a way to do a walk-though of the bare basics.. so when it's time for you to attend a bigger event for the first time, things might not feel so chaotic or intimidating.

Hope this helps :)  Happy Writing!

The topic for today is sex in your scenes..

I hope your Monday is going well :)

So, now that I've got your attention, let's talk about sex, lol ;)

But before we begin, I'm answering a question I have been asked many many times.. if you're writing romance, isn't writing sex scenes porn? Good question but there still seems to be a gray area so hopefully this will clear up some of the confusion a little bit; that's my plan anyway.

Let's say, you're writing an erotic/spicy contemporary romance.. there are two main characters.. your hero and heroine.. and these two characters end up together and only with each other. Sex with these two are as a loving couple, aka, they are taking their relationship to the next level and by the end of the book, they'll end up with a happily ever after. So, in this example, nope, not porn.

And no.. it doesn't matter whether it's mapped out move by move, or it's up to the imagination/your mildly written words to get across the point in the scene. It is still not considered porn.

Romance is the central and honestly main theme in the story. You need the two characters to stumble through a lot of crap, climb up hills, bowl down mountains, etc., all the while the sexual tension is building even though nothing is 'happening' yet.. then when it does happen, it's just between them and they run off in to the sunset.

Now that's cleared up a bit, there are levels of heat in erotic romance. You could be a writer who may be comfortable with leaving the door open just a crack. Or one that leaves the door half open, or all the way open.

Or, you could not be really comfortable writing sex scenes at all. To be honest, this can be sexy as hell, steamy as all get out.. all without writing each and every detail. No harsh language, no detailed body parts of anything going on. Nadda. But, you can so say it without actually spelling it out, toned way down.. your words about the characters are all that you have.. and let me tell you.. that's mighty powerful at times! Try it, if you don't believe me. If you're used to writing sexy with very little limits placed, try placing the let's keep it as clean as can be, and see how you up the tension like nobody's business, lol ;)

Here's a short rough draft/not edited tidbit..  it's toned down but clearly something's happening, lol ;)


Midnight. In Cinderella's time, that'd be her cue to get up and make a run or it. But she was not Cinderella. She frowned slightly. She didn't have a fairy godmother. There was no prince looking for her so he could rescue her from this hell.

Her prince? Arching an eyebrow as she took a sip from her drink, she thought of the elevator man. That's who'd be her prince. She grinned, once again enjoying the mental picture of him standing across from her. He was handsome. Her smile widened. Handsome and downright drop-dead gorgeous, the hottest hard body she'd seen in a while.

Her grin grew wider still, stretching her lips to their limit. She licked them as she tried to calm the tingling that overcame them when she thought about him. She wanted to kiss him before. But now...now that he was in her thoughts again, she wanted it even more.

She wanted to push him against the wall, rub her hands across his chest while pressing her body against his. The sensation in her lips moved through her body. At first it was slow, but once it flowed, creating desire...

You get the idea. And yes, they do end up as a couple and have their happily ever after...

So, whether you write steamy as hell, or tame but intense.. if you keep it between the two main characters, and they end up happily ever after (or happily for now, depending on the publisher guidelines)... It's romance!

Hope this helps :)  Happy Writing!